''A big white elephant in the room we never talked about'' … Stephan Elliott found it hard to come out as gay, even after directing Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Andrew Taylor, The Sydney Morning Herald, reports
Stephan Elliott does not regret coming out at last week's AACTA awards, but admits he made a serious verbal gaffe that implied he was afraid of his family.
''I basically was scared that I was gay,'' Elliott told the audience. ''Even after Priscilla[Queen of the Desert], I stayed offshore basically because I was frightened of my family.''
However, the director has told The Sun-Herald he meant to say he was frightened ''for my family. Yep.''
Elliott said he was not worried they would verbally or physically abuse him for being gay.
''No,'' he said. ''No way in the world. It was just kind of a big white elephant in the room that we never talked about.''
He is circumspect about why he said he was scared: ''I can't really, for their protection, go into it but it's family-related.''
Elliott, 47, was born in beachside Dee Why and grew up in nearby St Ives, the middle child of three and the son of steel-sheeting entrepreneur Peter Elliott. He attended Sydney Grammar School and admitted he had a privileged, if not always happy, upbringing.
Elliott, whose new film is the comedy A Few Best Men, was rebellious.
''I bucked the system by not doing what I should have done, which is what everyone wanted me to be, which is become a doctor or a lawyer or a grown-up,'' he said.
Elliott said he never intended to publicly reveal his sexuality at the award ceremony, saying: ''I honestly didn't mean to go there. I just had a moment.''
Reflecting on his public coming out, he said: ''It did actually hit me pretty hard. It's a weird moment. A weight comes off.''
The revelation, he said, was not a ploy to help publicise his new film.
''It had nothing to do with promoting the film. If anything, it could do more damage. I mean, publicists from my end were furious.''
Elliott said he was dismayed by what he termed ''the marriage equality war'' playing out in Australia, which he said had fallen behind the rest of the world in respecting the rights of homosexuals.
He admitted he had not fought for gay rights in the past.
''I've played a very non-political role all my life,'' he said. ''Honestly, I've been a bit lazy.''
The turning point was Elliott's life-threatening skiing accident in the French Alps in 2004, after which he was given 15 minutes to live. Despite being told he was going to die, Elliott said his partner, Will Bevolley, whom he married in a civil ceremony in Britain four years ago, was not allowed in the ambulance because he was not family.
''God, I've been with the man for 16 years,'' he said. ''I've just been told I'm going to die and they won't let me talk to him?''
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